Women’s rights have gone through extremes in recent American history. In 1973 it was still legal to discriminate against women for housing, jury selection, and professional hiring. That’s the same year as Roe v. Wade, the pro-choice abortion case which challenged women’s reproductive decisions. While the United States Supreme Court determined states should ultimately determine the abortion question (Dobbs v. Jackson, 2022), the topic of abortion typically highlights the woman’s perspective. The female voice is necessary when it comes to such topics, but because of the changes around abortion legislation, many men have lost their voice on the abortion issue. Men, just like women, suffer emotionally and psychologically following an abortion (1). However, an abortion’s negative impact on men is often unheard. In this blog post, we discuss how abortion loss impacts men, and how men can begin healing following his partner’s decision to abort. We also share how Sarasota Medical Pregnancy Center can help men move towards healing should they find themselves in the pangs of post-abortion regret.
Men and Abortions: What’s the Impact?
While abortion seems to be mostly a female issue, many men whose partner aborted report
negative emotional or psychological effects following an abortion, including regret, depression, and anxiety, among other impacts (2). The organization Support After Abortion conducted a study and found 71% of men experienced an “adverse change in themselves after their abortion losses” (3). However, because of the emphasis placed on the female perspective, men’s suffering is
often overlooked. However, because of the emphasis placed on the female perspective, men’s suffering is often overlooked. Many men experiencing post-abortion regret, whether they supported the woman’s right to abort or wanted to follow through with the pregnancy, expressed the need for support following the abortion. But few knew of resources available to them in their time of need. This is important because many men experience trauma following the loss of their child, thinking about the infinite “what ifs” had their baby been born. According to Dr. Mary C. Lamia, a clinical psychologist, common experiences for men following an “abortion include ambivalence, loss, grief, guilt, self-reproach, a feeling of responsibility, depression, anger, sexual dysfunction, depression, and posttraumatic stress response” (4). Men struggling after an abortion might also experience emptiness, substance abuse, and a feeling of losing the possibility of fatherhood (6). Because of social pressures and norms, men can find it difficult to voice these inner struggles, causing them to spiral even further into their negative emotional pits. Many times, because of these pressures, men are not given “a right to grieve” (5). The first step on the road towards healing is identifying signs of male post-abortion pain. Once an individual has identified one or more of these signs following an abortion, the road to recovery and healing can begin.
The Road to Healing
Men often face major obstacles in their road towards healing such as lacking awareness of where they can go for support and lacking those necessary support resources (7). Sarasota Medical Pregnancy Center can help men suffering from post-abortion pain overcome these obstacles. Our Center offers in-person professional counseling to men, helping them overcome painful feelings of grief and regret following an abortion. Our services include man-to-man support on an individual level, helping grieving men on their path
towards emotional and psychological recovery. All our services are free and confidential, as we meet guys where they are at, giving them the emotional safety net needed to be heard and validated in their grieving process.
We work with men as they acknowledge their real loss, including the physical loss of life of their child, along with their loss of fatherhood and sense of self-worth. Our staff compassionately works with men by taking them through coping strategies to move through the healing process, such as journalling emotions, seeking out faith-based support, or joining a post-abortion men’s support group. The Center offers both one-on-one support and support groups for men to voice their loss in a nonjudgemental and compassionate environment. Sarasota Medical Pregnancy Center knows that, just like women, men need the space and time to tell their stories, to be heard, and to move forward in their healing journey. We are committed to you in your path towards emotional, psychological, and spiritual wholeness.
If you or a man you know needs support, reach out to Sarasota Medical Pregnancy Center and let us be part of the healing journey.
Sources
Dallabrida, Eileen Smith. “Study Shows Long-Term Negative Impact of Medication Abortion,” 2022, https://supportafterabortion.com/wpcontent/uploads/2022/10/Study-Shows-Long-Term-Negative-Impact-of-Medication-Abortion.pdf.
Support After Abortion. “Study Shows Long-Term Negative Impact of Abortion on Men,” 2023, https://supportafterabortion.com/wpcontent/uploads/2024/11/Support-After-Abortion-Mens-Research-White-Paper-VF4.pdf, p. 1.
Ibid, p. 3.
Lamia, Mary C. “The Silent, Post-Abortion Grief of Men,” Psychology Today, September 30, 2022, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/intense-emotions-and-strong-feelings/202209/the-silent-post-abortion-grief-of-men#:~:text=For%20some%20men%2C%20intense%20grief,or%20fantasized%20child%20is%20
Ibid.
Support After Abortion. “Study Shows Long-Term Negative Impact of Abortion on Men,” 2023, https://supportafterabortion.com/wpcontent/uploads/2024/11/Support-After-Abortion-Mens-Research-White-Paper-VF4.pdf, p. 5.
Ibid, p. 8.
